I grew up watching Nat Geo documentaries, scribbling on notebooks, travelling with strangers, and constantly reflecting on life and philosophies with friends. I went into architecture knowing I may not have the upper hand. You see, I was a learner of Humanities and Social Sciences in senior high school. I like to think I was doing well in creative writing classes and I definitely felt deeply rooted in my community engagement lessons. In senior high school, I was not the most confident with my drawing skills but I knew my advocacies and objectives in life are consistent and strong.
I knew nothing of architecture besides thinking it’s about making beautiful buildings. I always saw it as a social science because like what our lessons on space, articulation, and kinesthetics discuss, it can control people’s movement and speaks of ideas. When we bring in chromatic energies, then we can still manipulate people, specifically their emotions. And that is pretty much psychology and sociology.
One of our last lessons for Theory of Architecture was on human behavior. It spoke of “space acting” whether it was good or bad. And it gave me a different perspective on design. There was also a video that mentioned vulnerability equates to creativity. It made me wonder. At the same time, it encouraged me because I am usually a quiet and reserved person who keeps my thoughts to myself.
In architecture school, I found myself out of my comfort zone as if everything was out of my reach, out of my scale and proportion. It was pretty much a shock scale though it could also be monumental. I mean, we are part of the Alpha Batch! The fact that I felt out of order, I suppose it was just a call in my life that I had to adjust to my surroundings. I wanted this, and I want it enough to stay and to be molded into this school’s vision of what architects should be.
Our lessons weren’t easy and it still is very much not and would probably never be. I felt like a bowling ball that was dropped into the ocean among beach balls. I have instances I sank, my hand ached, and I missed my readings and researches. When we talked about anthropometrics, it reminded me of a dream of being an anthropologist. It made me miss the value of cultural sensitivity and celebrating diversity. And when we had a lecture on symbols, I just felt damned. I should be an anthropologist, I thought.
But again, no. I wanted this. The reason why I wanted to be an architecture student with a Humanities and Social Sciences core is because I wanted to stop talking. At some point in my life, I felt like I wasn't enough to make a dent in the world. And I may still not be enough, but I am working on it. I was emotional when we viewed TedTalks on materializing because it brought me back to my advocacies. It made think, yeah that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life; to touch and transform communities through faith that does justice (a very Ateneo advocacy). Indeed, I felt this gravity of faith in my heart. A gravity that I knew I am here to be an architect.
09/14/2018
Theory of Architecture